I responded to a letter published by Metro on February 22, 2011, and my response was printed the next day. Chris E. wrote: Having raised two sons and having lived through the decades required to turn them into fine young men, I take exception to Elton John's assertion that he is a "father." His sexual orientation not withstanding, 63 year old men have no business bringing children into the world. This little tyke will have extraordinary opportunities, be well cared for, go to the best schools - that's laudable. But you're a guardian, Elton. Don't elevate yourself to father status.

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To letter writer Chris E. When you state that Elton John's "sexual orientation notwithstanding," and question, by virtue of his demanding schedule, his right to call himself "father" to his biological son, you are affirming that he cannot be a father in name because he is both gay and a busy, famous person. Are we to assume then that a heterosexual businessman who travels, works long hours and defers parenting to others is still a legitimate father? Or would you insist that he refer to himself as a "guardian" as well?

The story, as presented by the Daily News: Cops booted an unruly group of city teachers union officials from a posh Albany eatery after they caused a ruckus over their dinner tab. Paul Egan, the union's political and legislative director, set off the fracas - claiming the quail he was served, and finished, wasn't large enough. To hustle the scene-makers out of the dining room, restaurant managers reduced the bill for the group's prix fixe dinners before police escorted them out. My response was published in the Daily News Voice of the People on February 18, 2011.

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While the behavior of United Federation of Teachers official Paul Egan may appear obnoxious, his boisterous complaints in an Albany eatery have actually suggested an effective method of saving money during these hard economic times ("Where's the beef?" Feb. 16). If he was successful in getting his bill reduced due to his vociferous protests, his strategy could be useful to those of us looking to save on dining expenses. Of course, there is a subtlety to the process that Egan neglected; the argument should stop short of necessitating police intervention.

After reading about Lindsay Lohan's recent arrest for stealing an expensive necklace (she thought the store had loaned it to her) and the fuss made over the dress she wore to her arraignment, a pun came to mind that cried out for a letter. Metro published my statutory suggestion on February 14, 2011.
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Perhaps a new penal law category needs to be added for Lindsay Lohan's unique and high profile legal problems. I suggest the word "felohany" be applied to crimes committed by a perpetrator who "borrows" jewelry or clothes but still serves as a fashion role model when making court appearances. With the number of white minidresses sold following Lohan's recent arraignment, clothing designers will be anxious to outfit the next felohany celebrity.